Imposters & Death

Instant messenger (IM http://www.aol.com/) services allow me to connect quickly and easily to my friends and family. At work, I use a similar program called “Sametime” to connect me with my coworkers. Sametime is associated with our LotusNotes accounts and is restricted to users within our organization’s intranet. That means at work, I can only talk to those I work with (providing they also have access to Sametime on their computer.)


I have a son who attends college in Vermont. It can be costly to talk to him on the phone and texting is way too tedious for long conversations. I use the IM to chat with him if he happens to be on-line.


At work, on “Sametime” my name onscreen is my actual name. When using Sametime, it is important for me to be professional. Reputation is clearly at stake. Outside of work on IM, I use a specific “handle” so that I am anonymous to everyone but my chosen friends & family. If someone got wind of or was able to figure out my password, they could easily assume my identity. To make matters worse, they could sign on and change my password. This happened to my son when he was in high school. A few of his friends said he was on-line during school hours when he lacked access to a computer. He investigated and decided that someone must have figured out his password. We deleted his account. Fortunately for him, the imposter did not change his password which could have made things much worse. Here, his reputation could easily have been damaged.


My daughter had a similar but much more serious situation. She frequently used IM to chat with her friends. When she and her friends visit each other, they frequently go on-line and chat. One night, when she was home she discovered that someone else was using her IM account. She found this out because she was chatting with herself. The imposter would type in a sentence and she would respond with “who is this?” and see her chat trail in one font and color and the imposter’s chat trail in different font and color. Both chat trails displayed her username (handle.)


She immediately asked who it was. The conversation soon escalated to one of a sexual nature including solicitations and strong words. We advised the imposter that we were reporting them to AOL. We immediately reported the incident to AOL who investigated but never discovered who it was. The account was closed immediately. It was terrifying but she was convinced that it was one of her friends who thought they were being funny. She had shared her password with several of her friends (who all denied involvement.) Both my son’s and my daughter’s reputations were at stake. Further, the imposter could have conducted criminal activity.


Both of my children thought nothing of sharing their password with friends. Perhaps it was not a friend that was on at all. Kids can be very careless with their security. I don’t think they realize how serious these breaches are.


I will share another story with you. A friend of mine got into trouble when he misrepresented himself to someone he thought was an eighteen year-old woman. He had shaved off twenty-five years and re-joined the Marines (for his alter-ego.) He had begun chatting with this woman and they soon developed a romantic on-line relationship. Unknown to him, the woman was actually in her forties and was misrepresenting herself by using a pseudonym; her very own eighteen year-old daughter. He soon discovered that a coworker was also having an on-line affair with the same woman. Things escalated between the two men and one ended up dead. This man went to prison. He risked his reputation and lost big. The woman not only risked her own, but also her daughter’s reputation. Identity and reputation need to be taken seriously. Be careful of how you represent yourself.